The Man behind the Mask

The Man behind the Mask
However, - As Alice will tell you - What you see is not necessarily - What you get !

About Me

My photo
I think of myself as a Hippie, your opinion is noted for sure. I’m not lazy or dirty or weird, + I know not if there is a cure. I live my life as I do wish to, you may not be my number 1 fan. But I have my beliefs and my feelings, allow me them if you so can. Peace Justice + freedom are uppermost, in the mental list I have in my head.I am not for oppression + violence, my opinion, I feel, must be said. Don’t mock as I sit with my flowers, cut out all those jibes at my dress. Don’t treat me with contempt + with fury, it’s the World that is sat in a mess. I know I annoy you with questions, I know that you wish me away. But I’m here to stay + I promise, if you listen then you’ll realise one day. I am not full of hot air + rubbish, there are remedies that can be found. But we must work together, as comrades + work out the ideas that are sound. If you don’t + you shun me forever, don’t take in the things that I say. I’ll sympathise + continue to irritate, + always I'll remain so this way.

My Girls

My Girls
At their Hotel (?)

Thursday, 26 March 2009

My Migraines, the curse of sub-conscious genius or minor madness?

An accurate description may well be the bane of the mind. The headaches, which hold an ultra degree of torment for the sufferer. Whether it is the burning sensation upon and around the ball of the eye, the piercing pain that enters the head or general nausea, it seems to be a curse inflicted. My belief; if only through self-assessment, is that if indeed a curse, it is inflicted upon those who hold a special understanding of the unconventional. Visions (and not just optical) that others are unable to see and / or understand. Having experienced these and other symptoms for a number of years, I have tried to gain an understanding of the illness that it seems hereditary – perhaps it is the generic line that holds a key? Whether that means that I am a genius (of sorts) or a sufferer of mental discomfort is a matter of speculation, and the jury is still out (although I fear only just) who is to say however, that majority rules? I am an advocate that the vague and opaque shadow world, of dream, fantasy and dimensional content is not to be feared, as those whose claim “nightmare”, but comprehended as future memory and/or rift experience. I feel such intensity of thought, and as such, is one to be embraced rather than driven away with (so called) medication. Few can offer to me a plausible alternative reason for the explosive bursts of information that bounce around the walls of the mind. Too often it is an easy option to dismiss than understand and offer explanation. Are they warnings and guidance from beyond? The world of the spirits is a knowledgeable sense almost forgotten. Much like the Druids of ancient history, it is considered as strange, belittled and mocked as modern science endeavour to try to disprove the arts of distant past – ask any witch, it is they who through times bygone have suffered the worst of persecutions. Science? Save the Planet first Professor!
Then again, could it be a minor madness for the victim? Or a temporary anguish of the brain? If so then what is the cause? I have learned that the body clock is not a slave to the time of the day, that is corrupted by the conventions of work times, school times and dare I say it television times. I do not comply to such, so I rule out over tiredness, for I catnap when required and sleep when ‘my body’ dictates. Coffee can stimulate to excess and be an excitement of brain cells and although I do partake of the bean, it not to over excess and without such, still experience the irritation of inconvenience. The pains within continue. The silent noises deafen, the visions of sparkling light that dance like lightening strikes with the shocks of electricity behind Blue and closed eyelids. As the first line of Dylan’s composition sung with prophetic significance by Hendrix, though the subject is far different than this the first line of “All along the watchtower” is so apt when the demon attacks

Saturday, 21 March 2009

Beginning Summer in March

The first day of the year for those of us born under the Aries star sign. The Spring Equinox is upon us, though it did, in days gone by, herald the onset of Summer. With that in mind I decided to stride to the nearby forest wood and embrace the ambience. Taking the time to look around and about at natures beauty is a seemingly forgotten pastime. The light and dark shades of greenery and colourful sparkle of sunlight that shone through the trees into the small glade set a picturesque scene. Without the noise of the city, the sweet sound of birdsong, the whistle of the breeze through the trees and rhythmic babble of the brook made a melodic serenade. Inhaling the freshness of air, that holds the memories of a yesterday, I made the time to take a moment of respite to inhale the substance of air with profound gasp, for time has no sense of measure, just of what was, what is and what may be.
Our path throughout any single lifetime may well have a measure of content, though for me the occurrences of the past can be recalled and experienced with an embracement of and acceptance of meditation। The spectres of the past that are known to many as ghosts, can easily be described and dismissed as a figment of imagination, I judge them to be much more. For that which lie in the shadows have profound substance. The turning of the wheel provides an opportunity for us to make our own reflections, to cast out what was, and rather than the conventional practice of ‘making’ resolutions, actually employ them. A task, a trip, a commitment to change. My visit to this place of Karma and reflection allowed me to do such. Conviction of conscience comes at a cost, though solace in solitude gives a quiet contentment. It is a choice of balance for the individual, for it is they who live with the consequences. Whilst this may seem rather a dark vision of loneliness, it is not. For the projection of positive drive can be an inspiration to others and bring out in them qualities of developmental advancement that will benefit many. Whilst faiths differ, education, tolerance and dedication are virtues that are honourable and together we can make a difference to make the World that we currently occupy a better place. Not so much that the weekend, but changes can indeed start here “Happy Summer” - Peace + Love Save the Planet

Monday, 16 March 2009

Blog Inspiration

If recent events have taught me anything, it is never to underestimate the seldom used spiritual sense of enlightenment। Though it is a sense of nature given, all of us have the ability if not the capability to utilise it to gain a greater understanding of the World within and without everyday life. When the spark of inspiration ignites, it can do so within a moments turn. The stimulation into action of the dormant feelings that are within us all, the ideas, philosophies and visions which lie out of synch with that of the normality of convention – such are the greatest of discoveries.
Activation of such can come in the form of creative expression and/or in the case of the heart, give clarity of direction।
For me, two events of difference seem to be a catalyst of the actions that I will take on the road to fate, through Karma
Once upon a long ago, when the harsh Black and White World of the 60s exploded into a spectrum illusion, the opportunities to expand the mind in a creative and positive manner seemed open to both myself and peers of the day।
In the interim period my life has seen opposition, ridicule and betrayal। With responsibilities comes commitment, compromise and leads to compliance to convention, though for me at a cost
I now feel that the wind of change may well have finally arrived and the beacon ahead glimmers with a degree more brightness. Satisfaction may not be the word, though there is some degree of pleasure that the prophecy received at Glastonbury has the truth of substance that I had hoped for.
The first sign of variation was in reading expressive text of youthful exuberance। My faith restored by a simple posting, reminding me that the expectation of youth is full of joy and optimism.
The second was a deed of action unspoken. An act of deceitfulness seen behind the eyes that tried to hide the thoughts of a deceiver. The realisation of such can give an unexpected sensation. The scars that once would have remained with me became sadness for the owner and their eternal and seemingly fruitless endeavour to find what they’d be looking for. Such confidence in disappointment seems rather a contradiction; I found it to be an epiphany.
I feel, with freedom of expression a need to write what I feel with in my heart and indeed soul, with respect for the principles and conviction of conscience that I had thought lost
How gratifying it was that I saw it again within the writings of someone who I only knew by name - the flight of the Raven never flowed with such grace and purpose। For it gave me an inner motivation and indeed the confidence to write record and share past, present and future memory foresight
Whether this initiation of enlightenment to my inner soul can spark inspiration for others, in agreement or a difference of opinion I know not। – Only that some, is always better than no, action.

Saturday, 14 March 2009

इ ऍम Billy

I was born at the onset of a significant decade of change at the home of relative, a refugee from convention even at my earliest of days. Without a house for the first four years of my life, the 60s were certainly the time of cosmopolitan and myriad characters. I felt at such ease with the expansion and development of youth’s ambition. My childhood opened me up to a diversity of colour, creed, gregariousness and greed. It was through these experiences that I embraced the principles that have stayed with me - though my conviction of conscience has been vilified, such is life.
Within my soul lies the principles and heart of a Hippie, tortured by the a World of corporate greed and insensitive personal ambition, though with belief that one day the message of "Peace + Love ~ Save the Planet" will sink in, not just as a phrase but a philosophy of life।
Married, Divorced, now once again a single person. I have two daughters that have great pride in - sure they’re not perfect, but who really wants “Barbie girls” My eldest Jennifer has marked out her path in life with focus and endeavor, strong and determined she’s her own person and makes use of each of the 24 hours in the day, whilst my globe-trotting Charlotte has within her a spirit of freedom and adventure, her quiet confidence and sensitivity giving her an enjoyable, carefree though measured lifestyle.
My best friends live within the confines of my perpetually active mind – well it’s better than at the bottom of an emptied glass. Music I find is the inspiration to many an idea of developmental change, though burdened with the curse of Cassandra, I find best comfort in the shadows, the lone Wolf in the wilderness. Acceptance of the status is an ally of the larger beast of depression, which hopes to devour – It is resolve and fortitude that is the barrier against such a foe. A friends’ support can be vital; though friends are few and reliability always comes down to an individual’s character.
Can it only be I that feels such despair in oneself, so self critical that mirrors are rarely gazed upon without pain? Striving to promote positive drive to and for others, whilst tormented by a guilt that is not there? Is it such a hope forlorn, that the Pin shapes that others have, ever be experienced?
I believe though the future for me is written, it is done so in pencil, and “Tomorrow, never knows” – after all “is better to have loved and lost, than not have loved at all”. What or whoever that may be I feel is out. Finding the grail of our heart or soul mate of compatibility is after all worth waiting for. After all Pandora did retain one final gift.