The Man behind the Mask

The Man behind the Mask
However, - As Alice will tell you - What you see is not necessarily - What you get !

About Me

My photo
I think of myself as a Hippie, your opinion is noted for sure. I’m not lazy or dirty or weird, + I know not if there is a cure. I live my life as I do wish to, you may not be my number 1 fan. But I have my beliefs and my feelings, allow me them if you so can. Peace Justice + freedom are uppermost, in the mental list I have in my head.I am not for oppression + violence, my opinion, I feel, must be said. Don’t mock as I sit with my flowers, cut out all those jibes at my dress. Don’t treat me with contempt + with fury, it’s the World that is sat in a mess. I know I annoy you with questions, I know that you wish me away. But I’m here to stay + I promise, if you listen then you’ll realise one day. I am not full of hot air + rubbish, there are remedies that can be found. But we must work together, as comrades + work out the ideas that are sound. If you don’t + you shun me forever, don’t take in the things that I say. I’ll sympathise + continue to irritate, + always I'll remain so this way.

My Girls

My Girls
At their Hotel (?)

Saturday, 31 October 2009


SAMHAIN: The last festival of the wheel – A time of ending / beginning, moments to reflect upon and appreciate accomplishments. When the world of shadow merges with an illumination in twilight vision.
The wheel turns, and seasonal change is upon us। Once more I feel a calling from within - strong is the pull of Luna at this time for me it seems. An occasion of non-calendar for those who comply with what is deemed as ‘normality’, though for us others, it is an event to be observed with reverence. It’s a time to honour our ancestors (some of whom have had their achievements confined to the back pages of ‘his’ story). To ponder upon with respect and look forward positively, continuing to further develop their ideals.
In recent times, lore has been taken over by commercialisation and events diluted by those non-believers, who for reason of greed (or maybe fear) wish to take ownership of it – how wrong! Mothers’ timepiece transcends mere mortal time.
It is indeed, a Magical period, when the veil separating the physical plane and spiritual realms is at its strongest; that is, to those who wish to feel such connection and can attune themselves to the mystical visions of the shadows.
I enjoy the embrace of the karma that is always around, especially at this period. As I do so, I see the spectres of guidance with greater clarity.
Those that; primarily, dwell within the nightfall hours are the true ghosts of another dimension. Usually visiting in the fleeting moments of twilight to pass on the messages, warnings and/or forecasts of what may/or will occur, such visitations deserve note.
Readings of Rune and/or the Tarot too are particularity accurate at this time, as such I feel they are to be mindfully considered, for divination is an Art which most fail to use and be mindful of - we discount the ancient fear of evil with dubious confidence; for little do we know of this. The marking of this period has been with us throughout the eras, but in recent times the ‘event’ is of less fear, more laughter, games, pranks, decoration, costume and celebration. Like other such dates, a lack of comprehension or lackadaisical attitude has seen it lose its’ true significance. I believe that whilst it can be understandable to don the disguise of the self in order to reduce such trepidation and terror, it belittles truth. In this 24/7 – NOW! World; that we currently inhabit, we have lost our focus - Do not be fooled, the balance of power is continually disputed; lose the ancient senses, and we will no longer be able to pass the baton of ultra-existence to our children.
We must remember to pass such on, lest we lose what lore we strain to retain, and it becomes in time, the unknown. Those who condemn the rituals of tradition as fool hardy, are those who fail to understand and appreciate the density of truth - easy to condemn than comprehend it seems, so much for tolerance then? I will by laying an extra place at the dinner table for those who have passed over to the Summerland’s, for our yesterdays are the foundations of which we are fortunate to had advanced from, sacrifices were/are for a reason. We should contemplate, be conscious of more, if not all that is around us and realise that we are fortunate to live upon a planet that gives so much - if only people would be as giving and tolerant.
We ought to recognise we all have a part to play in the eternal cycle of life and at least agree that wheels do turn, and the continuation of a journey forever is always PAST, Present and/to Future.
It is a much smoother ride if we remember those six profound words of wisdom, * Peace + Love ~ Save the Planet *

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

HIPPIE – (me)

I think of myself as a Hippie–your opinion is noted for sure,
No I’m not lazy or dirty or weird–and I know not if there is a cure,
I live my life as I do wish to–you may not be my number 1 fan,
But I have my beliefs and my feelings–allow me them, if you so can.
Peace, Justice + freedom are uppermost–are thoughts that I have in my head,
I’m not for oppression and violence–though my opinion, I feel, must be said,
Whether sat in a crowd, or solo meditate–I discus or we think all alone,
I am my own man, I am a singular–I am not a society clone.
I wish to see harmony general–and that love will obliterate hate,
I want to see peoples united-and that they celebrate peace with their mate,
The end of my quest, it is distant–and may be an impossible goal,
Regardless, I’ll continue, endeavour–to attain inner peace in my soul.
Don’t mock as I sit with my flowers–cut out all those jibes at my dress,
Don’t treat me with contempt and with fury–it’s the World that is sat in a mess.
I know I annoy you with questions-I know that you wish me away,
But I’m here to stay, and I promise–if you listen you’ll realise one day,
I am not full of hot air and rubbish–there are remedies to be found,
But we must work together, as comrades–and calculate ideas that are sound,
If you don’t and persist so to shun me – don’t take in the things that I say,
I’ll sympathise and continue to irritate–and always will remain me this way

Help In Producing Peaceful Individual Existence
Children are the future - "teach them well and they will bloom like radiant flowers" * Peace + Love ~ Save the Planet *

Sunday, 25 October 2009

Passing On

When a loved one leaves us, passing on and over into that which is beyond, it is only natural that we feel the deep hurting that such a loss brings with it, for it is that space which is left, that there lies a void nigh impossible to fill. The deep wounding at the moment in time cannot be truly felt by any but the individual themselves, and no matter how genuine and sincere the sentiments are, few words can fully repair the heart. It is down to those that remain, to provide a stability of support to those who feel such pain. Whilst the grieving process can take different forms, I am quite sure that it is with ‘happy thoughts’ rather than regret, that those who loved and were loved wish to be remembered, and is important to keep hold of those memories with cherished positivity.
Even in a comparatively short period, one can make a connection with someone who can inspire so much and able to strike up an immediate and mutual friendship, regardless of age, sex or ...language!
I am confident that those whom we have made such a connection with, will always be there for all those who cared, and even if it is in the shadow-world of semi-focus, that with regular positive recollection of the new Angel of spiritual guidance, they will ensure that their aura will forever remain in the heart and minds of all who either knew, or knew of them, and bear part of the burden when the agents of darkness conspires against one.
Special people are so, not necessarily because of the explosive impact that they make upon specific instances, but moreover it is because of their consistency। Those, who with a steadfast character of reliability, confidence and trust; along with a support through adversity, will always shine. Such qualities emanate from an inner soul that is based on conviction of conscience. In the short time that you know certain people, there can be such a connection that inspires such confidence – so even when the passing on process does occur, it is also a passing over into a new realm of dimension – and their spirit will be there always.
Champagne and strawberries are indeed nice, though most of the time you can’t beat, a pint...and a Pork pie!

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

“Because I only turn 21 twice (?)”

It’s that time again! Rather typical that my second bundle of joy (and fun?!) believes that any day with a “Y” in it has a case for celebration. With the arrival of her 22nd Birthday, well there’s even more of a reason.
My little girl, back from her transatlantic travels (for now) has taken little time in making her arrangements for a themed party, at my house – I guess I am invited (?) well Dad will be needed - another day of tidying up awaits
“Charlie”: or “Ice”: for she is so chilled (?!) ’ has always had the ability to mix in with many and bring a good deal of laughter to those with whom she acquaints. Like her big sister, she also believes in the fulfilment of the 24/7 modern day lifestyles, though is also measured in her actions and careful in her sensibility.
She can sleep-in with the best, but is wide-awake and sparkles into life when the glasses chink and the music starts to play. Unlike, her big sis (and more like Bono) however, she doesn’t seem to have found what she’s looking for, though in the meantime, believes life is for living and its’ next great adventure lies over the next hill; ‘onward ever onward’ or, is it “to infinity, and beyond”?
A sensitive girl (in hiding?) she has always enjoyed expressing her persona and more like ‘Party’ than ‘Barbie’ is looking to take her adventures even further a field (look out Oz!) It is pleasing to know that she (and sis!) encompasses such spirit and drive, that if not to dramatically change the World, then to make their mark upon it – with enthusiastic boldness and confidence.
Well with the weekends’ beano drawing nearer, looks like the preparations begin today, for in the words of that infamous colour ‘Pink’, I suppose the party had better get started (ooh eer!)

Saturday, 19 September 2009

Autumn Reflection

The Autumn Equinox dawns, and as the Summers Sun begins its semi-hibernation, the Moons’ influence rises with significance and clinical clarity, a vision of Luna in her glory – is there a better sight?
The season passes. As it does, I take up a time of reflection, of thanks of what has been and, as the man of Wicker suggests, in reverence and hope for a better future. Each of us makes an assessment of the recent past (for greater reflection is for tomorrow) and in doing so, it clears the mind of waste and allows a greater opportunity for creative expansion.
The tidal ebb should have changed direction for all of us within the last period; it is only the degree of which it does that is subjective. For me, the wind, if not tidal wave, of change has seen an exploration into the unknown, a leap of faith with consequences that could well be panoramic – (the relevance of pan, within that last sentence, so close to ones heart)
Along with this comes the Harvest Moon, and according to myth, the Wolf Spirit sings to it, maybe it is that which sees the hairs on my back stand on end? Whilst Wolves howl – I lament, though not in sorrow, for I do like these times of consideration, it allows me to dismiss / discard all the negativity that was, and like proverbial broom sweeping out all that was bad a’ yesterday, it clears the way for pathways and indeed adventures anew - it is a time I use in a positive manner to “Ramble on”.
Tomorrows’ journey into the next period of life seems not to be as has been in the past. With confidence I step with purpose and hand in hand, onward and upwards.
Also comes the time of the Green Knight of lore, his duty to embrace and gather in the natural energy of the wood, before reclining upon his podium of observation until Yule, when he rests in peaceful slumber until May.
We should all take the time to feel his aura; as he sucks in the power of the forest before the King of Oak slips in to lay claim to the Wintertime Months, and appreciate what is around for nature is our greatest gift of hereditary life, ever the wheel turns - now to find me an Apple - for the feast of Avalon is nigh.
* Peace + Love ~ Save the Planet *

Sunday, 28 June 2009

“ Aint No Sunshine ”

The tragic passing of one of the brightest stars of show business, possibly the greatest of the modern day era, set off an emotional reaction that is seldom seen today. An enigmatic creative genius that graced the panoramic skyline with such musical melody, able to reach out and mean so much Worldwide with ground breaking imagery of sound, vision, fashion and dance.
He leaves behind a loss that crosses international boundaries, colours, creeds / races and religions, felt not just by fans but by any honest observer of great artistic innovation.
From the cartoon/ popcorn beginning; - quite aptly with the educational (?) “A.B.C.” Dancing through the charts - “Blaming it on the Boogie” - to the “Thriller” masterpiece of musical video, which set the tone and placed the benchmark that now typified in the images seen on the MTV Channels today.
The ultra on-stage professionalism and perfection that was continually sought; in no short measure by himself, came at a price, and despite the love and adulation of many, there always seemed to be a tormented and tortured soul behind the mask of public performance
Changes are inevitable in life, usually it is along the lines of a structure that allows immaturity to experience, to consideration and then an identification of persona. Becoming an adult at 6 years old, continuing workload and expectancy for decades afterwards, along with other mental and physical contributory factors; particularly throughout ones formative years has to have some lasting effect (doesn’t it?)
Only those who have experienced it can have an understanding of the true consequences of such. “Leave me alone” was a song that could easily be interpreted as a plea from a hurt; if not broken heart – in the only way he felt he could communicate such (?) Perhaps these were some of the reasons that moulded the characteristics of one whose personal nature was seemingly filled with frustration.
Though always trying to channel through love rather than hate, it could be that this innocent vulnerability led him into many positions where greater guidance, advice and mentoring should have been sought and employed. Trust and so-called friendship seems have been used, abused and ending up with a betrayal of confidence that gave rise to a more critical if no cynical view of the World of today – as if it were seen through the eyes and indeed the mind of a child – honest though at times very naive
But some of the music did have a maturity of observation to it. How often do we take a look at the “Man in the mirror”, not just visually but within our heart and soul to examine our conviction of conscience?
Do we consider sufficiently how we can “Heal the World”? Will we heed the lyrics of the “Earth song” and adhere to the philosophy of * Peace + Love - Save the Planet * before it is too late?
Prophetic words that were conveyed, wrapped in melodious communication for all, in the hope that understanding can be achieved and meaningful acts progressed
When one disappears into the Black hole of unknown void, it can’t help but be wondered of what boundless, infinite possibilities that lie within its structure and its substance beyond.
Whatever faith that is ones chosen credo, it is I feel the hope that wherever the pathway leads to, it will be a more serene and pleasant land. ‘A land of ‘make believe’? A ‘Neverland’ for the Peter Pan that lies within the inner soul of all Earths’ children perhaps?
At a time like this, when such an iconic figure passes over, one who has played a part in so many lives, I find that studious reflection enlightens, and “looking through the windows” is never enough to know the true price to be paid for one whose only goal, it seemed (no matter if you are “Black or White”) was to try to make others “Happy” – R.I.P. - M.J.

Friday, 26 June 2009

Birthday Belle

This week saw the birthday of the eldest of my two Angels. I find it difficult to accept that over a quarter of a century has passed since she burst into the world with glorious sunshine – but it is.
With no small measure of self-confidence, she has always been quite focused in the direction she wished to take, and for the main part she has been correct in her personal judgements.
Her optimistic nature, along with good strength of character, has seen her fill most of her life with, in no short measure, with a good degree of excitement.
She has always been bold, whether it is the antics of exhilarating holidays or successful career development, the attainment of a fun and fulfilled life seems frequently to have been achieved, and it is this that gives me the contentment that I feel all parents desire for their children.
She seems to have taken up this attitude as one of the positive aspects of the 24/7 tempo of the World in which we live in today. It could also be that with the freshness that youth have today, she is more successful in immersing herself than I was able to (though to be fair the avenues of opportunity are also wider) and is in no way a criticism.
Though children can exasperate, the exuberance of youth is something that should be nurtured and not contained or restricted - for it is this approach that I do believe, is the best hope for the future.
To seize and make the most of each day with vigour and enthusiasm will make tomorrows memories of yesterday more treasured.
May ever so, she continue to shine with such characteristics.

Saturday, 6 June 2009

(Excerpt 2) = The Lightening struck twice in the Night

As the thunderstorm advanced, the whistle of the wind increased in its’ intensity, firstly into a howl of horror before there was a shrieking all around, like that of a Banshee, that always sends a shiver down the spine
Sheets of White light lit up the blackness of the night sky, and in flickering vision the buildings so stark seemed to display a degree of foreboding.
The murmur of Thunder that followed not far behind steadily grew, and as it did so, the growl also increased in volume, becoming a roar of anger and threat.
The apartment shook as the tempest did its best to bring fear to those below and around.
Building up its fury, as if there were demons within, that conspired in enraged argument to build up such fear in all others. The threat of aggressive intent being that it would seek out and torment the most sensitive of souls, to take advantage of those most vulnerable, and to cut deep wounds into the hearts of the meek
Against this invasion however, we were prepared, we had each other. Having both fallen prey to this hated and broken dreams previously, we had decided to be victims no more. Protected in our bubble of embrace we were steadfast to ride out the turmoil, fully confident that the beast outside could not enter our castle of sanctuary.
Like the Wolf at the door of the 3rd little pig, though it huffed and puffed it could not attain its goal of terror. For safely within the abode l’amour, this lone wolf ranger of unique statue and character would protect milady Vixen against such adversity with Spartan resilience. Such is the forte of Heroes – and indeed heroines of legend.
Despite the best efforts of the darkest side of elemental power, they had failed in their attempts to work their evil and once again the energy of the virtuous Force, strength of integrity, resistance and fortitude prevailed.
It was with the final illuminated glare, along with that of the dying rumble of the fiend of fright that ebbed away, - that the secondary strike hit home, the realisation that the spectres of disappointment, disenchantment, destruction and devastation were to be cast away as only dark memories, for the pathway ahead was to be an enlightenment, that was fuelled with optimism and that a fulfilment of satisfaction that would be forthcomingThe freshness of clear air, cool breeze and stability of terra firma settled any nerves. As the rays from the Sun pushed back the clouds of despair and lifted us out the darkness, we looked out, and in aftermath of a past best forgotten, we saw the sparkling light of the future, with confidence it shone -
- A Spectrum Rainbow

Friday, 29 May 2009

(Excerpt from…) A Holiday, away in May = So much better than t’was yesterday

My time of rest in foreign land was to be a holiday break but it turned out to be so much more. An adventure and (re) discovery of youthful exuberance, filled with much more than relaxation, excitement or even the fulfilment of desire, it was a pleasurable enlightenment, in so many ways bringing me a depth of enjoyment, that was as much unexpected as it was in so personal an exhilaration.
Although not that far a trip ‘into the unknown’, the journey still held a degree of trepidation about it. I need not have held worried apprehension, for the experience was an illusion of delight
Departing from the Iron bird, I quickly made my way through the terminal of seemingly endless corridors until I was out into the Arrival suite. My eyes searched the crowd and saw her in her glory.
A vision that although I was familiar with, was so much more. Happy, friendly with a refinement of elegance, she gave me a most honest greeting that was full of sincerity.
She sang a melodic “bon jour” with a soft gentleness that stimulated the hairs on my arms and indeed up, down and along my back.
Her soft hair surrounded a smiling face with eyes that sparkled with glee, even in our initial polite hug, I felt a warmth of which I could not recall feeling from any other, for many if any, years.
The short trip back to her abode was not so much nervy, but held a gentle quietness that I suppose goes with any first face-to-face meeting. Though communication had been on a regular basis the real thing is always different.
We left the car and soon arrived at her apartment block, the four flights of stairs seemed to be a continuous trek of endurance, though as I would attest to later could be described as if to heaven.
I was immediately attuned to the aromatic candles that welcomed me into the lair of the Vixen.
Her allurement of enchantment overwhelmed me and within minutes, I was captured by her charms.
A romantic and bewitching aura soothed and broke down the defence of the beast that lay within me amidst a feast of l’amour. Such an attraction of mind, body and soul, it was one that I hoped meant as much to her as I.
It seemed milady had touched the heart and psyche that had lain in torment with a virtuous Angelic spirit rarely seen these days. Beating back the demons, the youthful exuberance and self-assurance of old had been released from its’ dormant state, and avenues of opportunity beckoned towards a greater spectrum of colourful potential
A soul mate? Well anyone who can, by pure presence, exude a magnetism of attraction and sees the acquisition of the trust of a formerly closed heart has something special within them. So that said, it would be foolish to ignore such a bonding that could see such glorious attainment.
And a future bright beckons

Tuesday, 5 May 2009


It rained yesterday – seems a regular occurrence on a U.K. Bank Holiday
It is often said that it spoils the day, though for me it is not so,
What better image is there, to see the greenery and foliage react? stimulated into radiant bloom and aromatic essence by the elemental energy of nature
The moisture that gives life, provides the same invigoration of that of the warmth of the sun, sometimes more so, for the healing properties are well documented in many locations over many years .
Despite the additives that rain down; due to global warming, with it , the precipitation provides much more than a simple tonic, it washes clean all kinds of everything. The freshness, invites new opportunity. Change, development and indeed life; both new and revitalised
We so take for granted the environment, which we are privileged to live within, we should pay more mind to our Mother and appreciate its gifts
For to dance in the rain with the delightful abandonment of youth and innocence, we should embrace the pleasurable reinvigoration, and in doing so expand our sensations of positive aspiration
No more regard ‘rainy days’ with disappointment, but as a time to inhale the infusion of fragrance and energizing spark of motivation
* Peace + Love ~ Save the Planet *

Sunday, 3 May 2009


I had a dream recently - one that gave me a degree of clarity of what was a yesterday, and; if the wind blows well along the road of tomorrow, with any luck, what be a future adventure of bliss may be - let me share, in verse

“Whilst taking a sip out of my glass - that was mirrored a bright, Emerald Green, I was taken aback to a memory, of a life before - 'picture the scene'
My teacher in robe of clear chiffon, how she danced with the freedom of air, She bid me join her with intoxication, and we strode to the Witch Wizards lair.
There were lights that did shine with such glimmer, how they shone with such sparkle and glow,
There was music that played a sweet melody, and I drifted with magical flow,
I embraced with heart filled of emotion, and ingested with spirit of youth,
For this future of fantasy beckoned, and for me, held a substance of truth
In these moments I’m content with the visions, that take me away from today,
An escape from what is reality - or so it would seem, 'they’ would say
My inner soul, it sees things of pure beauty - behind and beyond visual scene
And the darkness that waits dormant and silent, - opaque in such nightmarish dream
In these times that as fleeting as shadows, there’s a balance of good and of bad
But I weigh up the serenity given, and I'm more often happy, than sad,
Then back I do come as I waken, I return from my trip far away,
To see disappointment and with it frustration, of what is called normality - today”

Billy © Pleasant Dreams

MAY: Sunshine

The Month that sparkles - the time for the Sunshine period of the year to begin.
With the brightness also comes warmth; as the suns solar energy passes onto us its invigoration.
Opportunities to glow, and indeed grow our imaginative dreams.
For those who have wallowed in the shadows of depression, it is the time when change should be embraced, and we should to open the door to a radiation of enjoyment and positive future - move onwards, and upwards. Its the only way of life
It is understandable that we do so with a degree of trepidation - once the hurt of the past that has left a bite so deep it is hard to offer the same sensitive spot to others
Having said that, “faint heart, never won fair lady”, so if ever there was a time in which to do so. That day is now, that day is to-day
So, with optimism and faith in spiritualistic karma, when faced with a direction of which to take at such crossroads, with decisiveness we should “boldly go” and make the history of tomorrow memorable

Saturday, 18 April 2009

Holiday (?) Break Ponderings

As the wheel of the year turns, the changeover for me sees more significance than the calendar date / ‘festive period’ of conventional belief. A time to take stock of what was, what is and what may be, to contemplate with greater profoundness; along with a thorough self-analysis.
My annual review (already posted) outlined a general reflection, whereas taking time out to consider in greater muse allowed increased deliberation.
It seems that fortune, circumstance and the shadow that follows me, had conspired to produce an unhappy period in the past, of disappointment and on occasion betrayal
Sins of the past and perhaps transgressions to come(?) suggest that my nirvana will not be achieved until the penned line from Jim Morrison comes to pass, and solace in solitude; outside my immediate family, will be my only reliable companion. Once thought upon in depth however, it has presented me with an outlook of clarity that only strengthens my credo
It is not with sorrow but an increased acceptance that I view this. It could be taken of as a lifestyle to be endured rather than enjoyed, though that would be cynical, and times I feel, are “a-changing”.
This enlightenment has stimulated an inner resolve. Indeed it is not with pessimism, but clinical clarity that boosts my self-belief, confirms inner strength, that was once automatic, and of a sorrow for others. Ones instinct may at times hide, but it never fully disappears, it just lies in dormant readiness. Taking the time to make such meditation can provide such illumination, however upsetting at times.
I am bewildered when I think upon those whose frame of mind seems to change with little to no viable explanation. When I think back over the last half year, I can count on at least 7 occasions when this has been exhibited. I used to believe that perhaps it was I, who instigated this type of change of opinion.
Could it be the actions I have done that have led to the changes in the hearts of others? As I get older however, I realise that it is not I, but the character of others that is at fault.
Human nature nowadays seems to be so much of a selfish ilk. It is so disappointing to find out that which lies behind the masquerade of others, whatever happened to honest, open presentation of ones persona and feelings? Is it such an emotional vice to be sincere with others?
Although we all keep a veil over our true feelings, it is the degree of such that defines character. There is after all, a difference between chiffon and drape.
Perhaps it is a fear factor? Maybe it is genuine uncertainty? Whilst there are thoughts in my head that point to an action of deception, my heart would like to think that it is a flaw in their disposition - how condescending I hear you say, well each of us has our own philosophy of “to thine self be true” Conviction of conscience; as I often say and advocate, provides comfort and optimism for my future - something for all to consider
Whenever the time of choice is within the year, I feel it is beneficial to take time out for such reflection, a respite to ponder upon what is around us and more importantly, how things can be changed and improved upon for the betterment of our self, and where possible that of others. Disregarding the negative waves, and let them ebb away to allow one the opportunity to ride upon the crest of the surf tide can be so refreshing. Once the unconstructive burdens have been dispersed then with positive drive and intent, the development for those who really matter – especially ones self will be experienced
It is with determined commitment that we can make progress along the road on which we travel. With hopes optimism for the future, fortune; however fleeting given so far, will be returned to us .We must ensure we advance with confidence. Support would be welcomed and of great value but it seems one can rely on few aides in this endeavour. In this ever increasingly world of scepticism and materialism, we often only have ourselves to count upon. Sure we make mistakes, but it’s these errors made by ourselves; and by others that provide the experiences that we should draw upon, as we pursue the attainment of happiness.
So it is with renewed vigour, whenever one feels the time is right to weigh up past experiences and plan for the future, in order to achieve such advances, the sooner we do so the better - for “ Happy times ahead ” * Peace + Love ~ Save the Planet

Monday, 6 April 2009

Annual Review

Having just completed a 3 week leave of absence from work, I have had the opportunity to look back and review the events of the past 12 month period which has seen me take a new direction, a former route along the avenue of life that I once walked upon, but also tinged with sadness for the loss of a mentor and role model। My tale as it should do began in April, when the first quarter blossoms life। A quiet start though an ever increasing awareness of what the WWW could open up.
Encouragement from an unlikely source, a writing forum of another country, in the form of snap comments, on and of issues that had been familiar in my youth। Upon reflection I realised these values I still held true, and although changes in social improvement had occurred, fundamental problems were still evident. So with writings anew, I returned in poem, prose and essay to a wider audience. The’ General’ of operations being “Skip Stone”, after reading his book I felt back in touch with the philosophies of my youth again and hoped that my writings would give an insight for others – to consider.
Avalon was the highlight of the second period। Amidst the festival of Mind, body and spirit, I was touched both mentally and physically with a feeling of refreshment and reinvigoration। Enlightened with insight of the demons within/without me, the Angel that protected, and the provision of answers to unasked questions। Paranoia had been a defence mechanism against the dark shadows that crept with sly intent। Although this seeming flaw had substance, I was assured through word and action, that my guardian had overcome the spectre and would remain to shield me from the arrows of outrageous persecution. This gave me renewed confidence and the inner strength to be bold, stand up for the principles and values that were taught to me by my parents, and those special friends that visit me in my deepest despair, in visions that only I can see
Tragedy in the 3rd quarter saw the loss of my father – a man whose honour, virtue and dignity I try hard to aspire to। Though I still wrestle with the flaws of my individuality, I’d like to think that he would be proud of my conviction of conscience।
Travel has been an absentee over the past few years। Holidays were just rest breaks from work. I lacked the motivation to experience the exuberance that others enjoyed, preferring to stand as Spartan overseer whilst they lived the dream. So it was against the norm and upon a whim that I took a 5 day trip to Sweden, armed only with a passport, a small amount of cash and a lack of language skills to visit / stay with a internet friend. It was a case when the heart won the battle over the head and reaped good reward. I gained an insight into the culture, lifestyle and environment of a land that was only a distant memory of another past. Though it was with good reason I have been unable to do so, I realised what I had been missing out on. It was an enjoyable event that whetted my appetite for more. Belgium? Luxembourg? Germany? Where next? Hmm, just waiting for the invitation then. The World is so much more accessible nowadays – (perhaps it always was?)
Finally the inspiration of youth gave me confidence in the creation of this Blog. If nothing else I have the opportunity to express my thoughts and feelings to the masses (or those who care to read!) for their perusal, comments welcomed. Though it has been within the past 3 weeks I have discovered a lot about myself, and of others – far more than they realise (buried deep are their demons so much that they are unaware) – My thoughts are with them in their continuing strife, for they will need it. The headaches still battle within, but the cause I feel has a returning warrior to pick up the banner and steadfast be prominent. The search for my soul mate continues * Peace + Love ~ Save the Planet *

Thursday, 26 March 2009

My Migraines, the curse of sub-conscious genius or minor madness?

An accurate description may well be the bane of the mind. The headaches, which hold an ultra degree of torment for the sufferer. Whether it is the burning sensation upon and around the ball of the eye, the piercing pain that enters the head or general nausea, it seems to be a curse inflicted. My belief; if only through self-assessment, is that if indeed a curse, it is inflicted upon those who hold a special understanding of the unconventional. Visions (and not just optical) that others are unable to see and / or understand. Having experienced these and other symptoms for a number of years, I have tried to gain an understanding of the illness that it seems hereditary – perhaps it is the generic line that holds a key? Whether that means that I am a genius (of sorts) or a sufferer of mental discomfort is a matter of speculation, and the jury is still out (although I fear only just) who is to say however, that majority rules? I am an advocate that the vague and opaque shadow world, of dream, fantasy and dimensional content is not to be feared, as those whose claim “nightmare”, but comprehended as future memory and/or rift experience. I feel such intensity of thought, and as such, is one to be embraced rather than driven away with (so called) medication. Few can offer to me a plausible alternative reason for the explosive bursts of information that bounce around the walls of the mind. Too often it is an easy option to dismiss than understand and offer explanation. Are they warnings and guidance from beyond? The world of the spirits is a knowledgeable sense almost forgotten. Much like the Druids of ancient history, it is considered as strange, belittled and mocked as modern science endeavour to try to disprove the arts of distant past – ask any witch, it is they who through times bygone have suffered the worst of persecutions. Science? Save the Planet first Professor!
Then again, could it be a minor madness for the victim? Or a temporary anguish of the brain? If so then what is the cause? I have learned that the body clock is not a slave to the time of the day, that is corrupted by the conventions of work times, school times and dare I say it television times. I do not comply to such, so I rule out over tiredness, for I catnap when required and sleep when ‘my body’ dictates. Coffee can stimulate to excess and be an excitement of brain cells and although I do partake of the bean, it not to over excess and without such, still experience the irritation of inconvenience. The pains within continue. The silent noises deafen, the visions of sparkling light that dance like lightening strikes with the shocks of electricity behind Blue and closed eyelids. As the first line of Dylan’s composition sung with prophetic significance by Hendrix, though the subject is far different than this the first line of “All along the watchtower” is so apt when the demon attacks

Saturday, 21 March 2009

Beginning Summer in March

The first day of the year for those of us born under the Aries star sign. The Spring Equinox is upon us, though it did, in days gone by, herald the onset of Summer. With that in mind I decided to stride to the nearby forest wood and embrace the ambience. Taking the time to look around and about at natures beauty is a seemingly forgotten pastime. The light and dark shades of greenery and colourful sparkle of sunlight that shone through the trees into the small glade set a picturesque scene. Without the noise of the city, the sweet sound of birdsong, the whistle of the breeze through the trees and rhythmic babble of the brook made a melodic serenade. Inhaling the freshness of air, that holds the memories of a yesterday, I made the time to take a moment of respite to inhale the substance of air with profound gasp, for time has no sense of measure, just of what was, what is and what may be.
Our path throughout any single lifetime may well have a measure of content, though for me the occurrences of the past can be recalled and experienced with an embracement of and acceptance of meditation। The spectres of the past that are known to many as ghosts, can easily be described and dismissed as a figment of imagination, I judge them to be much more. For that which lie in the shadows have profound substance. The turning of the wheel provides an opportunity for us to make our own reflections, to cast out what was, and rather than the conventional practice of ‘making’ resolutions, actually employ them. A task, a trip, a commitment to change. My visit to this place of Karma and reflection allowed me to do such. Conviction of conscience comes at a cost, though solace in solitude gives a quiet contentment. It is a choice of balance for the individual, for it is they who live with the consequences. Whilst this may seem rather a dark vision of loneliness, it is not. For the projection of positive drive can be an inspiration to others and bring out in them qualities of developmental advancement that will benefit many. Whilst faiths differ, education, tolerance and dedication are virtues that are honourable and together we can make a difference to make the World that we currently occupy a better place. Not so much that the weekend, but changes can indeed start here “Happy Summer” - Peace + Love Save the Planet

Monday, 16 March 2009

Blog Inspiration

If recent events have taught me anything, it is never to underestimate the seldom used spiritual sense of enlightenment। Though it is a sense of nature given, all of us have the ability if not the capability to utilise it to gain a greater understanding of the World within and without everyday life. When the spark of inspiration ignites, it can do so within a moments turn. The stimulation into action of the dormant feelings that are within us all, the ideas, philosophies and visions which lie out of synch with that of the normality of convention – such are the greatest of discoveries.
Activation of such can come in the form of creative expression and/or in the case of the heart, give clarity of direction।
For me, two events of difference seem to be a catalyst of the actions that I will take on the road to fate, through Karma
Once upon a long ago, when the harsh Black and White World of the 60s exploded into a spectrum illusion, the opportunities to expand the mind in a creative and positive manner seemed open to both myself and peers of the day।
In the interim period my life has seen opposition, ridicule and betrayal। With responsibilities comes commitment, compromise and leads to compliance to convention, though for me at a cost
I now feel that the wind of change may well have finally arrived and the beacon ahead glimmers with a degree more brightness. Satisfaction may not be the word, though there is some degree of pleasure that the prophecy received at Glastonbury has the truth of substance that I had hoped for.
The first sign of variation was in reading expressive text of youthful exuberance। My faith restored by a simple posting, reminding me that the expectation of youth is full of joy and optimism.
The second was a deed of action unspoken. An act of deceitfulness seen behind the eyes that tried to hide the thoughts of a deceiver. The realisation of such can give an unexpected sensation. The scars that once would have remained with me became sadness for the owner and their eternal and seemingly fruitless endeavour to find what they’d be looking for. Such confidence in disappointment seems rather a contradiction; I found it to be an epiphany.
I feel, with freedom of expression a need to write what I feel with in my heart and indeed soul, with respect for the principles and conviction of conscience that I had thought lost
How gratifying it was that I saw it again within the writings of someone who I only knew by name - the flight of the Raven never flowed with such grace and purpose। For it gave me an inner motivation and indeed the confidence to write record and share past, present and future memory foresight
Whether this initiation of enlightenment to my inner soul can spark inspiration for others, in agreement or a difference of opinion I know not। – Only that some, is always better than no, action.

Saturday, 14 March 2009

इ ऍम Billy

I was born at the onset of a significant decade of change at the home of relative, a refugee from convention even at my earliest of days. Without a house for the first four years of my life, the 60s were certainly the time of cosmopolitan and myriad characters. I felt at such ease with the expansion and development of youth’s ambition. My childhood opened me up to a diversity of colour, creed, gregariousness and greed. It was through these experiences that I embraced the principles that have stayed with me - though my conviction of conscience has been vilified, such is life.
Within my soul lies the principles and heart of a Hippie, tortured by the a World of corporate greed and insensitive personal ambition, though with belief that one day the message of "Peace + Love ~ Save the Planet" will sink in, not just as a phrase but a philosophy of life।
Married, Divorced, now once again a single person. I have two daughters that have great pride in - sure they’re not perfect, but who really wants “Barbie girls” My eldest Jennifer has marked out her path in life with focus and endeavor, strong and determined she’s her own person and makes use of each of the 24 hours in the day, whilst my globe-trotting Charlotte has within her a spirit of freedom and adventure, her quiet confidence and sensitivity giving her an enjoyable, carefree though measured lifestyle.
My best friends live within the confines of my perpetually active mind – well it’s better than at the bottom of an emptied glass. Music I find is the inspiration to many an idea of developmental change, though burdened with the curse of Cassandra, I find best comfort in the shadows, the lone Wolf in the wilderness. Acceptance of the status is an ally of the larger beast of depression, which hopes to devour – It is resolve and fortitude that is the barrier against such a foe. A friends’ support can be vital; though friends are few and reliability always comes down to an individual’s character.
Can it only be I that feels such despair in oneself, so self critical that mirrors are rarely gazed upon without pain? Striving to promote positive drive to and for others, whilst tormented by a guilt that is not there? Is it such a hope forlorn, that the Pin shapes that others have, ever be experienced?
I believe though the future for me is written, it is done so in pencil, and “Tomorrow, never knows” – after all “is better to have loved and lost, than not have loved at all”. What or whoever that may be I feel is out. Finding the grail of our heart or soul mate of compatibility is after all worth waiting for. After all Pandora did retain one final gift.