An alternative Christmas thought

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine, a perception of family festive fun, of parties, of laughter and happiness all around us, sadly all too often it is not the case. For many it is a period of sadness, loneliness and great sorrow. Suicide rates are up, depression rises and it seems that only those with self-focused intent and attitude are able to be on the better side of average, with those of meek, mild and innocence temperament suffering some degree of misery.
From a Worldwide perspective, we are in trouble. Be it the financial market, global environmental issues, the lessening of moral standards along with the widening of the gap of social status, things don’t look too good.
With the New year of 2012 (a film that most have seen) approaching, many predict troubles aplenty and see us fated to suffer more than would be usually expected, whether it is minor hardship or perhaps far worse, some do question what we are due to expect, and any hope there is, would be that forlorn.
Melancholy can be so great that the feelings swell up and we are wrapped in a Black cocoon of doom filled thoughts.
For one who has been there in mind and spirit, I feel the slip into such an abyss can be easy. When standing on the precipice the balance can be precarious. Only then can those who empathise through personal experience, know these times when faced the ultimate dilemma, only they can say whose voice will be the stronger, the dark demons of darkness or the Grey Knights who stand in the shadows as guardians of protection and it is that; as the bard quote, “where lies the rub”. Those who fall into despair can be those whose life lacks the interaction of family and friends. One can soon become the person that many know of, but nobody knows (“Behind Blue Eyes” – indeed)
I am grateful to the intervention of an Angel, a young female of youthful years; who thrice pulled me back from the brink though unaware of such, and I have to believe in a brighter philosophy.
To accept an inevitability of defeatism invites much negativity and it is at this time more than ever, that our strength and conviction; though tested shows our true character. There is always hope, and such resolve will see us through many dark days. It is our capacity to adapt to adversity that allows our evolution, development and survival. I have a faith that sees me spend many times throughout the year to reflect, review what has been, is as is to be in order to embrace what is there as well as the norm. We need I feel, to appreciate and embrace the brighter things that are already to hand and what can be available for us to advance within and without of us – with positivity, drive and confidence the power we hold within us allow a great deal resolve to call upon and achieve so much

An anniversary remembered

There are dates within the calendar which we etch in our memory and birthdays are probably those we remember most. Today saw one of such note – that being one of an ex-lover. Although the relationship was one on a long distance, evolving from contact made on the book of face, it was nevertheless; for me, one of significance and happier times.
Maybe it is coincidental that it falls on a date of note recognised by my faith, that being of Yule? Maybe it was that a time of me being low in spirit and soul, that she was a gift sent by such guardians to satisfy a need (not a want) to provide uplift just when I needed it most. I guess you have to be a believer.
When relationships break up, I feel it leaves; to varying degree, a sense; if not of heartache, then disappointment, along with a wonder of what may have been and of, ‘if only’.
The comfort of a warm embrace, and company of one whom I felt I could call truly a soul-mate, has left a black hole within my heart with a regret and lasting sense still felt within my thoughts of that similar to bereavement.
Looking to move on can never be easy when one is the recipient of a ‘Dear John’ communication, though as with anything that is of substantial emotive meaning lost, one has to look for the positives there had been.
I recall the pleasures of euphoria experienced, be it in sexual gratification as well as spiritual satisfaction. The simple pleasure and pride in her company. The attuning of like-minded philosophies, of the sharing of heartaches, along with the burdens we had had of past baggage - which we both carried and I’m sure still do.
There were many things that we both had in common and a future together seemed; though not straight forward, something we could face and indeed overcome.
I had made enquiries regarding education of her children, explored the medical facilities required to treat the condition of Mega migraine proportions, I had made enquiries in regard to addressing the language difficulties that posed an issue with the teenage twins and was about to commit to provide accommodation within my abode – and although moving in is a major commitment, it was something I was prepared to do.
The hand of fate however was to play it’ card and the knave that was always in the game was dealt, and then - game over.
One has be grateful for the good times however and after all “It’s better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all” – they say
And so I send Birthday blessings to you KD, life can be unfair though know that I still care, with all that you have had to put up with, still send to you my best wishes in the hope that the demons that haunt you abate, and you receive all that you deserve - Bless

And when I asked there was muted response

This week, my daughter told me news of someone whom I used to call ‘best’ friend. Following chest pains and a degree of persuasion from work colleagues, he visited and was told by hospital he had suffered a heart attack. As a consequence, a triple by-pass was required. Though I had not seen him for some while ‘there was a time’ when we had what some may today describe as a Bromance.
In youth we had a number of good times. Our first holiday abroad to Majorca, where I recall young Jayne from London, climbing out of the pool with her bikini top falling off, one couldn’t help but be drawn to her “Rock and Roll” tattoo. Using his translation skills to tell a fellow traveller to utter a phrase to a Frenchman that translated to, “When are your Mother and Father getting married?”
We double-dated a few times - he interacted better with the more outgoing of the two ladies, whilst I equated with the more timid, sensitive one. Then there were the musical concerts, when Meatloaf was a young man, ‘the Boss’ performed three hour shows and beano extravaganza from the Who.
All was well until he asked; ‘as his best friend’, what I thought of his then girlfriend, so I did, only to be told at the end of my observation, they had just got engaged and set a date for marriage – oops indeed!
We gradually lost touch from then – seems time and pride is unforgiving.
And so; primarily at the bequest of one of former romantic connection, she stating concern regarding his health - along with his current marital status, I began my search to speak to him. Via his brother; though there were scant details, I was able to ascertain a mobile phone number. Though it took my full and not solely first name for recognition, contact was made.
During conversation it was obvious he had lost none of his linguistic eloquence and education. He related the seriousness of his condition – only the area of such; being the heart and not the liver and lungs was a surprise. The recovery from such trauma would be steady and cautious.
Though he thanked me for my concern, ‘tea was on the table’, so I relayed to him my email, telephone / mobile details for future contact – of which I still await.
As for the originator of keen enquiry, there too was a similar lack of interest - one wonders why bother? It seems whims, passing thoughts, false concern and genuine appreciations are all too familiar these days.
When I review such actions I feel a degree of disappointment, though perhaps it is I, having spent too long in a cocoon of protectiveness and lost the reality of social lifestyles, too long wearing spectacles of rose-coloured। Maybe time at this ‘festive’ season to analyse ‘friends’ and either work more on relationships, or close the book on them, resigning such to memory
– Time, an never ending wheel in motion

Religion is always beaten by faith

I had a visit from two Witnesses of religion. I told them I was of Pagan Faith, tolerant of other beliefs be it Muslim Quaker Catholic Jewish etc though had conviction to my own. It did not deter them and they invited me to engage in conversation, so I did. For when asked to opine upon a subject, I feel my duty to respond with honesty and confidence, for communication is the way forward to an understanding of others tenets, values and philosophies.
We began in an amicable manner and bantered on several topics. I’m not a believer in religion myself, but an advocate instead of faith, a credo I had a kinship to throughout my life. I felt that it was the main cause of wars, and many heads of such organisations were out of touch with those that they called brethren, and as I told the main spokesman, there seemed to be more excuses than explanations given upon questioning of such.
He referred to the changes to the planet, saying many thought it was Gods revenge though his alternative view was that God is there to help and; for those who adhered to his word, would be saved. I said that sounded too much like a deal based on fear and; as some may say intimidation.
He continued to say there is good news to tell, I agreed citing the little orange dingy that bobbed up and down before huge whaling ships in defence of a creature to be protected and not used and abused by consumer requirement. Putting their life on the line; literally, for the cause, he responded by saying yes, but the real good is out there being done by the grace of God by numerous disciples of the word that he and others like him preached – I said though I believed in his sincerity it was not mine!
He added, if you had good news to tell would you not want it to be told? I replied yes but by education and example, not demand and directory command = a horse to water scenario. He used the example of knowing a cure for Cancer, I said that maybe there was a cure for this and several other illnesses, though whilst there is an opportunity for corporate profit then the release of such seems to be ‘after due consideration’.
He continued, stating all the answers to our questions lay within the book he carried, and only those who adhered to its philosophy would be worthy to be saved. At this point I reacted with greater criticism.
He said in his book that his saviour spread the word to the furthest part of distant lands – I queried this as the ‘known world’ did not stretch to areas such as that which lay across the Atlantic, he added yes but it was to be those lands not yet known – at this I said I was quite sceptical.
I cited the Native Americans; who like the faith of my own, had an infinity to the elements, holding the environment and nature’s beauty with respect – both of witch, were hunted down to the brink of genocide by so called civilisations under the leadership of corporate materialism and indeed an excuse of religious guidance.
I pointed out with translation and interpretation things could have an element if not an absolute fact of reference.
The destruction of chariots in deadly pursuit engulfed in deluge and watery grave is quite possible to accept if, one thinks of the marshes (REED) where peoples could carefully cross, yet heavy artillery not in an area near to the RED Sea – maybe it was divine intervention, maybe it was creative invention, I mused – he looked confused.
I questioned why only one (son) was the ‘chosen one’ in one land to be the messenger of all truth, he replied yes and he was killed, I answered well one messenger was, not the message – just like the messages of other religions!
I queried the contradictions therein i.e. is it an 'eye for an eye', or 'turn the other cheek'? He had no creditable response
I asked why there was no mention of a Mrs God. We had previously agreed that man alone could not create life and that male and female of the species (science precluded) could create a life natural. He had no response, just to say that God was an entity of mixed gender though to the question, why always in the male form? – he had no answer.
Indeed, why was no prominence given to any female role models, within the main teachings (i.e. secondary mention only)?
He could not answer. I pointed out that any Bible / Book of doctrine that was felt to be the LAW was faulty, He said "it is the law - of God" at this I saw the other closing his eyes.
I ended by saying, “are you convinced that this book is 100% correct in its teachings, despite the length of time it took to write, and its several translations/interpretations by many of different age and perceptions, and there is no other god”? – He replied "Yes". I said "OK, if that is your belief, good for you, but it's not mine, Goodbye, Good luck and may your God go with you" We parted such
I’m always receptive to the thoughts of others, though not when there are those that either will not, or perhaps can, not do so a constructive and similarly accepting way. I don’t get why some people can’t accept differences of credo whilst living a life by example and action and not feel the need to preach. Opine yes, but not dictatorship. It seems to me that an adherence by blinkered and controlling of any religion with blind obedience is not a comfort I care for.
I embrace a way of life that is encouraging, nurturing and with inspiration gives comfort. It works for me and such choice shows why Religion is always beaten by faith

My Grand Daughter’s first protest

Leading up to the day of planned action there was a degree of expectancy, and on the day I was prepared; though the organisation of others was not as such


I began by picking up a couple of young female students and transporting them to the picket line of Manchester College for to support their teachers in dispute। Having done so I was en route to collecting my granddaughter, and as I drove past where I thought there would be a picket line, I found sadly there was an empty site. I looked around for a couple of minutes before I had an appointment to make. I arrived at my elder daughter’s to an excited Phoebe, and after dressing and feeding her, we returned to the site, passing other establishments which were heavily attended, we sounded our horn and waved our encouragement, receiving a positive response, though when we returned to our point of arranged meet, it was disappointing to find no one on patrol. Undeterred, we made our way to the local site of union residence and announced our arrival. It seemed that we had missed those who had stood in situ and; I was told had been there for a couple of hours – hmm. Anywho, along with my younger daughter and granddaughter, we set off to the assembly point in the town centre and took our place amongst the mass of people in ordered readiness.
The parade began to cheers and we marched on a route that went past several of the major parts of the town to the cheers, claps and waves (including my ex-wife-which was nice) of the general public onlookers that far outnumbered that of the police marshals; horses and all. It was a good feeling to receive the backing of a good number showing encouragement and appreciation. It was a peaceful event with good natured marshalling by those in the force – with thankfully no sign of Lt. John Pike!
Upon completion of the parade, the rally took place in a park near to the student campus of Manchester University where the claxons, whistles, drums and rattles made the point of loud noise to show we were there to be heard.
Despite this, the leader of the CON-DEMing Government saw it in a different way, trying to dismiss it with some contempt before announcing that he would be capping wages; that had been previously negotiated, to a reduced 1% - this based on projected inflationary figures of 3% per annum – oh and confirming that MP pensions would be exempt from this scenario. Two days later, it was reported that the UK is tottering on further recession, with a majority of the population in Wales on the poverty line – Well ‘No shit Sherlock’! Regardless of this, my granddaughter’s first protest of peaceful disorder was one she participated in with enthusiasm and enjoyment, and her part is now embedded in a historical record of the biggest national turn out for decades “Teach your children well” - indeed

A Speed unnecessary

Prior to the National event that was to come, last Sunday saw news of the shock suicide of a popular sportsman. With his professional and personal life in positive order, no sign of scandal or financial concern, seen in conversation just hours earlier on TV, in good frame of mind, humour and considered thought on the subject matter, with no outward sign of any distress, the lack of reason behind the action was quite a sobering thought.
The death of a popular person who seems to have it all is surprising at the best of times, though when one is (seemingly) familiar with the persona and lifestyle of either public appearance or celebrity, it can really hit home.
To think, no, more to realise, that the outward appearances of an individual can be so misleading is a lesson for us all to be mindful of. None of us ever really know that which goes on “Behind Blue eyes” and to coin another phrase “the picture is not the story”. It seems to me a reminder for us all (to paraphrase) “Not to judge another until we have walked in their moccasins” and to take the time to see - not just look, to listen - not just hear and to learn, and not presume.
Though this ode is dedicated to the man, it is moreover the incident and circumstances that are generally all too common in our preconceptions of others. Only when it touches a familiarity does it become a stark wake-up call, and at that time, it is too late for to act. I feel more is required of us, to observe and to act –it used to be called care, not to take for granted those others who may well have inner demons that they hide with a facade of disguise. More importance should lie in the pro-active and not reactive and not let it be too late to respond when they do act. The capacity to do so is within us all
Gone from here before his time
Away from here with little pre-sign
Rest in a place which comfort brings
Your legacy there, still terraces sing
Speedo, you'll be remembered well
Professional, with no bad tales to tell
Eager, a positive drive you brought
Enthusiasm such a thing you taught
Drifted now unto another plain – though in the memory you will remain
- RIP Gary Speed