The Man behind the Mask

The Man behind the Mask
However, - As Alice will tell you - What you see is not necessarily - What you get !

About Me

My photo
I think of myself as a Hippie, your opinion is noted for sure. I’m not lazy or dirty or weird, + I know not if there is a cure. I live my life as I do wish to, you may not be my number 1 fan. But I have my beliefs and my feelings, allow me them if you so can. Peace Justice + freedom are uppermost, in the mental list I have in my head.I am not for oppression + violence, my opinion, I feel, must be said. Don’t mock as I sit with my flowers, cut out all those jibes at my dress. Don’t treat me with contempt + with fury, it’s the World that is sat in a mess. I know I annoy you with questions, I know that you wish me away. But I’m here to stay + I promise, if you listen then you’ll realise one day. I am not full of hot air + rubbish, there are remedies that can be found. But we must work together, as comrades + work out the ideas that are sound. If you don’t + you shun me forever, don’t take in the things that I say. I’ll sympathise + continue to irritate, + always I'll remain so this way.

My Girls

My Girls
At their Hotel (?)

Friday, 30 September 2011

(US) BLOG (6 of 7)

FRI: 23 / 09 / 11: Happy Mabon:
No work ‘hoo-rah’, on this day of my focused attention of spiritual pleasure. I awoke to a lovely day; despite what the weather may be. An appropriate breakfast meal of fruit ‘n’ fibre set me up and I begin my day of peaceful ambience.
During this time of quiet reverence of no IT, TV or DVD indulgence. I start with reflection; a two hour period of mediation. It is a mental cleansing, to free up and release those negative waves and former woes, a goodbye to what was, a stock-take the day’s being and ideas for the possibilities of tomorrow – food for thought.
It is a step to free up my mind from the minuses and to seek the potential pluses ahead. I have faith that it will duly arrive – though sometimes I do wonder at what cost? For everything I feel is in balance (though not always even, or in one’s favour)
Having completed and refreshed, if not revitalised I dressed and left the home to absorb the freshness of air. It didn’t take long for me to make my way to the woodland pathways of scenic locale in order to embrace the autumnal ambience of a changing.
The leaves of Golden Brown fell from the branches as the cold breeze prised them to the ground with a starkness of force. A chill was in the air, I think the word is ‘brisk’ and there seemed to be a quieter air to the surroundings that I found myself in, lonesome wandering in a scenic greenery of an increasing nakedness of foliage and slowly flowing water. It can be stark, it can be sobering, it can be silent, although the landscape can be timeless and it is that perhaps that allows me to be at one with elemental connection.
After another pleasant period of two hours, I returned for sustenance of corn and cider then made ready my preparations for the evening’s duty in the dress of both my attire and altar decoration. Once completed, I quickly made note for the day log and took leave for the next stage in my day of faith.
Whether in solitude or in the company of like-minded others, I find solace in the ceremony of rite, though find it somewhat disappointing that the particulars of such must be made with careful planning and/or cautious invitation, for the intervention of the weak-minded and ignorant can detract from the theme; and in some cases, power that comes with the tradition of lore
Later on, as night drifted in and the Luna light shone down, I embraced in the moonlight ritual of celebration and respectful acknowledgement of the twilight moment. No need methinks, to go into the explanatory details of ritual – for they are of personal reverence and I feel be only truly appreciated by those with a genuine interest of tenet.
I leave you to draw your own conclusions, those being a testament to your character of personality I feel – Blessed Be to all

Thursday, 29 September 2011

(US) BLOG (5 of 7)

THURS: 22 / 09 / 11: My weekend starts here:
Despite the monotony of the day, I am lightened in spirit, as I feel better for the forthcoming arrival of better things to come. As the wheel turns to another calendar date of note and Mabon is upon me. The week’s toil is almost concluded, and tomorrow I can celebrate the autumnal equinox of the Northern hemisphere. A date I can enjoy with clear mind and focus; following persistent negotiation or should that be, nagging?
A degree of persuasion was needed before I was afforded leave of absence for the day. Initially, I had been denied recognition of this, my faith; I was told could not be recorded – as the system didn’t recognise it as a religion, they putting me down as having no faith (we haven’t got a box for that indeed!) I wasn’t happy
It was only when the 2010 UK census came about, and entry on the ‘official’ form I pressed this again. This time; though no doubt reluctantly they relented and my box; if not card, was marked.
Having achieved this ‘minor’ victory, I pushed further of this recognition and requested to be allowed leave to respect my credo of choice with faith days being duly noted. It seemed at first they were unsure of what to make of this and some seemingly vague questions were asked of me. Though it was in a vein of interest, I knew it was moreover a fishing exhibition into the validity of my desire. I answered accordingly with simple, honest and though not always direct retort, it was sufficient for them to accept the sincerity of my enquiry.
Though they didn’t totally capitulate, they did cede to my request; as long as I could arrange coverage on specific shifts – I’ll take that. And so my Sabbats will be enjoyed with reverence and due accord – Witch is nice.
Considering we are supposed to be a free society, built on freedom of speech and tolerance, added to that my employment of over a quarter of a century continually states the importance of diversity, they can be so choosy at when that policy is put to use.
Similarly, outside of work, when I am asked of my faith; for I do not preach, it is met with the stereotypical “oh, naked girls dancing around the campfire eh”, the reference to spells, withes brews and to the (1973 version) film of the ‘Wicker man’ – well I do confess, bar the choice of sacrifice, the ideology does have a good degree of appeal.
Regardless of the opine of individual, for we all have them, it is important to understand that whatever one’s tenet is, pomp and ceremony, simplicity and reverence – trust in the deity/deities or elemental natural environment it is a personal facet of one’s ego, and if one finds solace and comfort within it, then who can argue with the conviction of the aura.
Tomorrow, I will spend with, and in adherence to my belief and wish the best of blessings to all

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

(US) BLOG (4 of 7)

WED: 21/ 09 / 11: Ah dreams:
Well that was a dream last night that was. After entering my journal notes of the day; as per intention, it was an ‘early night’. Warm and snug under my quilt I drifted away into the mist of unreality. Gradually I slipped into the zone and embarked on my twilight journey into the unknown and the surreal events therein.
A combination cast of old school friends; looking as they did in their youth, along with current workplace colleagues mated in an environment of stark and shadowy skies, leading to scenes inside a building of gothic design, where I; and dear companion, were pursued by an enemy of dangerous nature all within in a mood of perilous thriller.
There was the obligatory water element along with the sensation of lofty height to contend with. Over the years, I have honed and toned a degree of self control that I employ in such twinkles of misty moments and keep me one step away from deadly disaster – and some say sanity balance.
Such are the typical visions of my night (sometimes day) dreams. Many, I guess, may deem these as fearful nightmares and panic reigns. For me however, they are a mix of memories, hope and fears, obstacles faced and to face, some to avoid, be wary of and maybe situations within a mirrored dimension.
Are they warnings and advisory messages perhaps? Purely speculation of course, my view is of these images, is that they are of such witch need to have a degree of interaction with – the mind is quite capable of coping, we are just out of practice. Though it may not be divine destiny, then surely it is of curious interest and requires some pondering of reason?
I know there are several books of reference that what can mull through, that offer different and; some say alternate opinions of explanation, but I feel that one can only find the answers from the inner reflection that comes from profound deliberation of the self – or is that just me then?
Ah well, a subject so complex and speculative, maybe the reasons behind the R.E.M. of slumber are best left to the imagination, and let us not forget that when they come in a spectrum illusion of fantasy is there anything better? Seems like a there are some questions that one doesn’t really want to fine a definite rationalisation of. My advice is to sleep well and embrace without fear, remember we all have angels of guardianship.
As for the rest of the day, - well not much of note. It couldn’t really be better than ones abandonment of inhibition and contemplation of what I personally consider as enlightenment. It went surprisingly quickly and though I tried to stay awake as long as; for that I feel enables a quick doze off, and quicker to capture the microbes of mystical magic, it was back to bed onto and into a lifestyle that me seems better, long ago, in a galaxy, far, far away

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

(US) BLOG (3 of 7)

TUES: 20 /09/11:Being a cared and caring neighbour:
It was hardly a ‘Good day Sunshine’, though the weather could have been worse. It was after all only an overcast morning, though another day at the office (one sighs). Once showered, shaved and dressed and with work beckoning ‘for the sake of the bills’ I complied with my duty. Following an eight (and a bit) hour stint I returned from an uninteresting and uneventful day to a bit of a treat; of minor degree that is, though - I gotta love my neighbours.
Freshly cut grass and hedge trimming gardening assistance greeting my arrival - Debbie and Graham had been hard at it. Then after I had changed I was coming down the stairs a knock on the door saw me greet Joe who; with Angie provided me with some Mexican food; that they had made in excess. I was happy to take it though it would have to wait until tomorrow night’s tea; for I was already halfway through a meal of bacon and cheese baguette snack.
I have to say I feel fortunate to have such nice people around me. One can easily find themselves if not surrounded by, then certainly within a community that doesn’t really socialise. There is a difference I feel, between being in the pockets of others and stifling with an over familiarity that intrudes into one’s life, and the common courtesy, genuine care and friendliness that always seem usual these days - what a shame that is and indeed how sad that the norm seems so to be.
Too often I can be the cynic, looking out on those whose misbehaviour grabs the attention over the meek and mild, I must try to do better!
I am a great believer that we should all do with a bit of reflective realisation and appreciate that which we take for granted and indeed sorely missed in its absence. After all we all work and indeed live better together in harmony. Too often these days; maybe because of the society we have allowed to take moral charge, there is an air of suspicion abound.
We should all, do better!
After I completed my snack “Dad’s Taxi” was put to use, as I took my daughter back to ‘Mum’s house. Though she loves me of course, I haven’t got the Sports channel she was hoping for, and although she said she wouldn’t mind missing the game, parents always know when their children mean other things – it’s part of the role requirement/job specification. A half hour round trip took me there and back again, and I could unwind in the comfort of familiar abode albeit in solo mode Tuesday is for me usually a bit of a dead night, and now with a lack of company it was an early trip up the wooden steps to blanket fair the normal action, a shame that one wishes away the hours, still ah the slumber world of escapism can be imaginative fun and spiritual re-invigoration – time to “Dream on”

Monday, 26 September 2011

(US) BLOG (2 of 7)

My second entry, made on a day when I return to work from a weekend of relaxation, contemplation and relief, it sees a degree of reluctance to adhere to the requirements of the day – for who likes a Monday morning, and go back to work where the appreciation for contributory endeavour is in short supply? And more to the point who wants to talk about it? For unless it is filled with a spectrum of creative content that rewards, there is much of a muchness about any job. In my position and role there is I fear, too much contradictory discretion and direction around to feel any kind of value for ones efforts
MON: 19/09/11: Monday moaning:
The Six o’clock alas did ring, I “woke up, got out of bed, I dragged a comb across my head” - as I guess we all do, unless it’s the weekend of course when the mop upon one’s head flows in more of a natural abandonment of flow – just me then? With little time prior to the commencement of my employment of necessity, I partook of a brief breakfast and then was off the local shops to purchase the fresh produce needed to watch my figure – watching it is one thing keeping it trim is another. As the years pass and the arthritis increases, the physical exertion is restrictive and takes its toll on the body once firm and streamlined – it happens I’m afraid to us all.
After changing into appropriate attire I take the short car drive to work and therein perform the duties of the day. Well enough of that, work is work and I’m out of there now
On completion of such, I arrived back at home in the darkness of night ass autumnal nights draw in, and which doesn’t really inspire one to start projects of physical production – I just don’t like this week’s shift hours, whilst there is still time to relax yes, but for housework attention? It is a drag when there is only myself to stir into action – roll on the week end.
Daughter number two (of two) however, fresh from her camp counselling duty in Minneapolis USA, stayed with me last night, and during the day as I worked, so did she, and I came home to a nice clean house with dinner prepared within the fridge that just needed a warming up. Leaving me a missive of information to read (to show she had her eye on me and) of her next expected visit. I stripped off my dress of the day into the comfort of t-shirt and shorts and to unwind with my cup of tea, I clicked on U-Tube for a background of melody, and noted my muse of log on the site of hip, before embracing the fantasy of the Inter-web, I do think that such fancy is needed to rid one’s thoughts of the days mundane. And so finally, I’m off to the land of slumber and to dream of better things

Sunday, 25 September 2011

A WEEK OF MY (US) BLOG (1 of 7)

Recently I was invited to participate in a diary journal on the U.S. forum of Hippie theme that I write upon. A site where maturity is monitored, as the adult subject matters range from Love, Religion, Politics, Personal issues; as well as Games, Random thoughts and of course ‘Sex, Drugs and Rock n’ Roll’, They are discussed in an open and honest manner, and though I may be biased, both informative and educational
I have in the past, split my entries on different forums, different blogs, indeed across the World (WW) if not “Across the Universe” maybe it is a time to share my thoughts upon this ‘personal’ Blog? For the purpose of this particular exercise, the entries; in diary form, span the last seven days leading up to (and a day) the Mabon Autumnal equinox; one of my faith days of Pagan origin. Perhaps more muse than comment I begin with:-
SUN: 18/09/11: Small Beginnings:
They say Giant Oaks from little acorns grow. If that be the case, maybe we should all grasp the opportunity to share with others thoughts and beliefs with our own small but personal contributions having merit? We all have stories, tales and experiences that we can share with others free of cynical criticism, surely?
I have always held the view, to share rather than store up and be frustrated is better for the soul and spirit of the self, though there are times when the noted quotation “better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt” comes to mind. I’m confident in my conviction.
If everyone adhered to the belief that to say nothing would see improvement and development, then progress would be stifled and nothing would get done, for status quo sees stagnation. One must remember there are no bad ideas, just impractical ones – and as I tell my Grand Daughter “to dream, is to fly”
A log in electronic form allows one to state feelings, beliefs and muses of the day. There are times when words do not tell the story, or in haste expressions of passion may in hindsight have wanted more deliberation, though are we all not prone to the frailties of human nature? and to err is so human.
Emotions are the feelings of the heart and may not necessarily be what others wish to hear but show I feel, a purity of opine and as such shows integrity to the self. There may be times when consideration should be the watchword of the cautious, but that may not be the underlying honesty required for the contentment of the inner soul.
In this modern day age of 8 day, 24.7 lifestyle, expression is both good for the release of frustration and allows an exertion of one’s negative woes
One only hopes that the spirit of freedom is embraced and within the text there can be a message that can be appreciated; if not agreed with by others. “Write On”

Friday, 23 September 2011

MABON 2011

Another festival is upon us, with the autumn equinox arriving to draw in the nights, when the planet obtains a near balance of day and night, of lightness and the dark in equal measure. It is another time of reflecting back and planning forward, finishing projects, planting the seeds for new enterprises – as ever, the world turns.
I allow myself escape from the day’s conventional acceptability and at one with myself in mental as well as physical being. As I set myself for a period of evaluation, I settle into a mode of ease that, whilst meaning the housework, organisation of utility and other administrative records are left uncompleted, it allows clarity of soul/sole satisfaction.
Dear Persephone comes to mind when the legend of myth is recalled, due to the consequence of action forced on Demeter by the deceit of Hades; inadvertently causing the wheel of seasonal cycle to turn. It is a reminder that there are consequences to any actions, and the gifts that are offered to us are not always fruit witch refreshes, they can be a vessels of brewed deceit.
With the warmth of season passing into the cool before the cold, I set out my table draped in appropriate cover of respect along with tools of due regard. I light the candles of Gold and Brown colour, put into position autumnal leaves and items of opposite attraction. Added to this I place the fruit of apple along with vegetable squash of past beside the various seeds and grape of future, acknowledging the passing of the moment and the hope of tomorrows glory. Then there are the practical tools of usage, from the scythe to the trowel all are relevant to the concept of the day. Finally, I position the vine of grape and grain of sustenance to partake with due reverence and with careful adornment; for the hospitality of others, if appropriate, is key for the sharing of experience, and if not, then the facet of OCD becomes evident.
The Harvest moon shines down its Luna light of Moonbeam, and I can’t help feeling awe and aura of fulfilment. The solitude of solace allows an attuning of connection. As I prepare for the ritual of thanksgiving, I sit in quiet contemplation. The last period has seen good times, bad times, incidents and events, though despite the foreboding of realisation, along with the lack of expected progress and comfort, the fact is, I have to consider myself fortunate to be able to retain my conviction of conscience within an increasingly sceptical world. As time passes there is greater self- appreciation of days gone by, whether in this or the shadow world witch I find myself in.
Honouring both the darkness and light is required as one acknowledges the importance of natures balance. It is methinks, more relevant in these days of 24/7 commercialisation and greed to be mindful and show due relevance to lore –for I do believe that our future has to be based on a foundation of remembrance of days gone before, both for kin, community and indeed the self.
And so I embrace in the moonlight ritual of celebration and respectful acknowledgement of the twilight moment. Whilst the accompaniment of others would be a welcome change – maybe a past sin is to bemoan the lack of?
No need methinks, to go into the explanatory details of ritual – for they are of personal reverence and only I feel be appreciated by those with a genuine interest of tenet – those willing to learn can/will make their own enquiries through appropriate channels – for one can always ask

Thursday, 1 September 2011


Returning from Glasto to the outskirts of my home town at ‘La Shaw’ I sense a change in the air. Whilst away at the land of Avalon I was within the zone, there I was able to reflect upon a number of things that had weighed within my conscience of curiosity - things other than the norm.
I had the opportunity to engage with several folk of similar mindset, and felt comfortable in both tempo and tone of the conversations I held with them. There is something gratifying in being able to relate to those with philosophy of mood, action and causes that are akin to that of one’s ego, it gives a sense of unity of process; if not unification of opinion.
Now back at my abode of the moment, I feel confidence in expanding upon such good beginnings, and look to venture out with purpose to places and goals anew. I aim to explore such avenues in a vein that I compare to the unwrapping of a mysterious gift, the layers of witch I am discovering more to questions of, than answers to - but isn’t that a worthwhile target of significance to strive to obtain in order to enable the development of both the self, and indeed maybe; in time, a general consensus of opine?
Opening my ‘book of face’, I read replies from messages sent prior to leaving. After doing so with due deliberation, I decided to plan out a direction to my future; albeit that witch may see me once again out in the countryside of a land that many deem make believe – although we all have to find ourselves somewhere ‘over the rainbow’ for peace of mind I feel.
To that end, a degree of self-discipline is called for. In order to pursue another pathway, I decided that to be the pro-active pursuit of academic recognition in creative writing.
With one and a quarter books of poetry already written, a number of stories part written and lots of notes, I have at least contents of draft material, so perhaps now is the time to advance further with these projects, and in the completion of relevant units, find the attainment of such to be rewarding.
Despite assurances to the contrary, the absence of support when it was most needed, leads me to take a solo, some say selfish focus. The realisation that support that I had been desperate to attain, is like that of a lottery win, there in hope and forlorn anticipation, so a different tract is required in order to attempt a satisfactory, if not total, contentment, methinks.
After a short trip to the library to ascertain course availabilities, I eventually arrived at a location of advice that was quite helpful. However, therein I established that recent reductions in public service funding, now see fewer opportunities in ‘adult’ education being made available and Open University the place to enquire within, with usage of distance learning an option. I suppose failing that, there is always the magazine options where financial recompense something to consider.
Like a lot of writers I guess, once engrossed in the mode of verse or essay, emotion can take over. I find my own historical experience always a good reference for me to draw upon; though with a degree of ‘touching up’ perhaps (imaginative license always comes into that of a good tale, yarn or such like) and illusions are I find less restraining and another useful aspect to utilise in the depiction of the word of text – hmm, maybe the phrase “be afraid, be very afraid” comes to mind?