Holiday (?) Break Ponderings

As the wheel of the year turns, the changeover for me sees more significance than the calendar date / ‘festive period’ of conventional belief. A time to take stock of what was, what is and what may be, to contemplate with greater profoundness; along with a thorough self-analysis.
My annual review (already posted) outlined a general reflection, whereas taking time out to consider in greater muse allowed increased deliberation.
It seems that fortune, circumstance and the shadow that follows me, had conspired to produce an unhappy period in the past, of disappointment and on occasion betrayal
Sins of the past and perhaps transgressions to come(?) suggest that my nirvana will not be achieved until the penned line from Jim Morrison comes to pass, and solace in solitude; outside my immediate family, will be my only reliable companion. Once thought upon in depth however, it has presented me with an outlook of clarity that only strengthens my credo
It is not with sorrow but an increased acceptance that I view this. It could be taken of as a lifestyle to be endured rather than enjoyed, though that would be cynical, and times I feel, are “a-changing”.
This enlightenment has stimulated an inner resolve. Indeed it is not with pessimism, but clinical clarity that boosts my self-belief, confirms inner strength, that was once automatic, and of a sorrow for others. Ones instinct may at times hide, but it never fully disappears, it just lies in dormant readiness. Taking the time to make such meditation can provide such illumination, however upsetting at times.
I am bewildered when I think upon those whose frame of mind seems to change with little to no viable explanation. When I think back over the last half year, I can count on at least 7 occasions when this has been exhibited. I used to believe that perhaps it was I, who instigated this type of change of opinion.
Could it be the actions I have done that have led to the changes in the hearts of others? As I get older however, I realise that it is not I, but the character of others that is at fault.
Human nature nowadays seems to be so much of a selfish ilk. It is so disappointing to find out that which lies behind the masquerade of others, whatever happened to honest, open presentation of ones persona and feelings? Is it such an emotional vice to be sincere with others?
Although we all keep a veil over our true feelings, it is the degree of such that defines character. There is after all, a difference between chiffon and drape.
Perhaps it is a fear factor? Maybe it is genuine uncertainty? Whilst there are thoughts in my head that point to an action of deception, my heart would like to think that it is a flaw in their disposition - how condescending I hear you say, well each of us has our own philosophy of “to thine self be true” Conviction of conscience; as I often say and advocate, provides comfort and optimism for my future - something for all to consider
Whenever the time of choice is within the year, I feel it is beneficial to take time out for such reflection, a respite to ponder upon what is around us and more importantly, how things can be changed and improved upon for the betterment of our self, and where possible that of others. Disregarding the negative waves, and let them ebb away to allow one the opportunity to ride upon the crest of the surf tide can be so refreshing. Once the unconstructive burdens have been dispersed then with positive drive and intent, the development for those who really matter – especially ones self will be experienced
It is with determined commitment that we can make progress along the road on which we travel. With hopes optimism for the future, fortune; however fleeting given so far, will be returned to us .We must ensure we advance with confidence. Support would be welcomed and of great value but it seems one can rely on few aides in this endeavour. In this ever increasingly world of scepticism and materialism, we often only have ourselves to count upon. Sure we make mistakes, but it’s these errors made by ourselves; and by others that provide the experiences that we should draw upon, as we pursue the attainment of happiness.
So it is with renewed vigour, whenever one feels the time is right to weigh up past experiences and plan for the future, in order to achieve such advances, the sooner we do so the better - for “ Happy times ahead ” * Peace + Love ~ Save the Planet