An anniversary remembered

There are dates within the calendar which we etch in our memory and birthdays are probably those we remember most. Today saw one of such note – that being one of an ex-lover. Although the relationship was one on a long distance, evolving from contact made on the book of face, it was nevertheless; for me, one of significance and happier times.
Maybe it is coincidental that it falls on a date of note recognised by my faith, that being of Yule? Maybe it was that a time of me being low in spirit and soul, that she was a gift sent by such guardians to satisfy a need (not a want) to provide uplift just when I needed it most. I guess you have to be a believer.
When relationships break up, I feel it leaves; to varying degree, a sense; if not of heartache, then disappointment, along with a wonder of what may have been and of, ‘if only’.
The comfort of a warm embrace, and company of one whom I felt I could call truly a soul-mate, has left a black hole within my heart with a regret and lasting sense still felt within my thoughts of that similar to bereavement.
Looking to move on can never be easy when one is the recipient of a ‘Dear John’ communication, though as with anything that is of substantial emotive meaning lost, one has to look for the positives there had been.
I recall the pleasures of euphoria experienced, be it in sexual gratification as well as spiritual satisfaction. The simple pleasure and pride in her company. The attuning of like-minded philosophies, of the sharing of heartaches, along with the burdens we had had of past baggage - which we both carried and I’m sure still do.
There were many things that we both had in common and a future together seemed; though not straight forward, something we could face and indeed overcome.
I had made enquiries regarding education of her children, explored the medical facilities required to treat the condition of Mega migraine proportions, I had made enquiries in regard to addressing the language difficulties that posed an issue with the teenage twins and was about to commit to provide accommodation within my abode – and although moving in is a major commitment, it was something I was prepared to do.
The hand of fate however was to play it’ card and the knave that was always in the game was dealt, and then - game over.
One has be grateful for the good times however and after all “It’s better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all” – they say
And so I send Birthday blessings to you KD, life can be unfair though know that I still care, with all that you have had to put up with, still send to you my best wishes in the hope that the demons that haunt you abate, and you receive all that you deserve - Bless